Actually, the truth is, Mail head of features CHRIS CORDNER is on a fitness drive and he's full of apprehension.

After a first visit to Springs, Chris found out that getting fit the modern way is an extensive pre-planning exercise before it becomes a training exercise. Read the second instalment of his weekly column.


I'D done all the tests and I was ready to go.

My blood pressure, lung capacity, weight, height and body fat – it was all on record.

And while it was not great reading, at least it showed just how comprehensive and thorough modern-day training has become.

My personal trainer Chris I'Anson had fully explained what was expected of me.

"So you will want me to start exercising now," I asked.

"No," said Chris. He wanted me to eat for the next week as I would normally eat. I was puzzled. I knew what I was capable of eating within an average week. It's big but it's not clever.

Chris explained that he needed a full picture of my dietary habits so he could find out where I was going wrong.

So off I went, armed with sheets of paper galore to record everything I ate and drank, to live a normal Chris Cordner life. The next day, I began recording.

Steak slice, bag of crisps, fish cakes, bag of crisps, salad with chilli sauce, bag of crisps. It all went down on paper.

So did the drinks. Can of pop, hot chocolate, can of pop, coffee, can of pop, more hot chocolate, can of pop.

A pattern was emerging here, I thought, as I chomped through another bag of crisps.

I was eating all the wrong things in all the wrong quantities and at the wrong times.

Still, it was all there for Chris to see.

I dread to think what he'll say when he reads this diary of culinary shame. My new found enthusiasm was already beginning to wane.

Next time it's a new me – under proper instruction from a fully qualified fitness instructor.

Find out how it goes in next week's column.