WAYNE’S WORLD: My hit single is a real wake-up call

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Having worked in radio for more than 13 years I think I am pretty good at spotting a hit in the making and I have been correct with a few predictions of which music stars will or will not be around for long.

I must be honest, I have, when I was younger, fantasised about being a pop star.

When I was younger I was in a boy band. We were terrible and the song is still on my computer never to be heard again. But who didn’t pretended a bottle of shampoo was a microphone and your full length mirror was how you would look on television as you mimed along to your favourite artist.

I have been busy producing a hit single and this is the reason why: to help some friends decide if they are ready to have children or not!

My wife and I have three children and I am never more than a column away from sharing stories about them with you and we, like many other parents, have friends who do not have children yet.

They have the pristine house that still looks like a showroom, their walls are smear free from residue of sticky sweets and nothing has been destroyed.

Our friends, who have money to spend on themselves and enjoy two weeks abroad doing what they want and chilling to the max, have decided that soon they want a child and they think it would be a breeze.

They only ever see our children on good days and in a clean house that has frantically been blitzed for their arrival, but until you have kids you never really know how hard it is.

Our friends both work so if they do have a child, dealing with less money coming in yet more expense is another thing to deal with. Nothing eats away at the bank balance more than when you have kids and your wife says that she needs a few “bits and bobs”you know it’s going to be at least thirty quid once baby food, wet wipes and nappies are in there.

So to help our friends I have been busy making a single, a CD of audio to see if they are ready and I have over the last week recorded my kids from when they wake up during the mayhem of the school run to the days when they come home from school in a bad mood and instantly shout demands at you, to my favourite track, the night time noise!

This track you put on as you are chilling in bed or watching television and it stars my 20-month-old son Jack on a bad day when he is up and down, crying and screaming.

There’s a bonus track you play just as you are about to go to sleep. There is no sound until you are in a deep sleep and then he starts crying and screaming!

This CD is a hit single if you want a reality check. To most parents I think you’d hardly notice it on in the background but for those without children and the peaceful serenity of what you call home I think it will be a wakeup call to how hard parenting is, not that you will ever need a wakeup call again if you have them.

But for the love you get back, it’s so worth it.