HOW many times in a week do you get home from work, slump in the chair and utter the words: “There’s nowt on the telly”?
After a day of stress in Mail Towers, getting shouted at by anyone who happens to pass my desk and being blamed for everything from the regular spleling mistakes in this column to the hole in the ozone layer, I love getting home, putting my feet up and turning the box on.
But despite paying the thick end of sixty quid a month for Sky TV, I’m getting a bit bored of flicking through the 900+ channels and finding there’s not a thing on that’s worth watching.
It’s all very well having HD and a big flat screen that takes up half the living room, but at the moment it’s not worth wasting the leccy by switching it on.
Sky News and Sky Sports News are always safe options, but apart from that I’m struggling.
I can’t remember the last time I got home and got myself settled down to see something I’d really looked forward to watching.
The best shows on telly are the repeats, which we have seen before from when they were first aired 15 years ago and then bought in a box set from the supermarket for a tenner.
Everything seems to be celebrity related at the moment, but even then the so-called celebrities aren’t even famous.
In the last week alone I’ve seen celebrities jumping off diving boards into swimming pools, celebrities dancing with ice skates on, celebrities hurling themselves off ski jumps and celebrities singing.
I’ve also seen celebrities cooking, celebrities eating kangaroo’s testicles and celebrities doing quiz shows.
Honestly, I don’t know how they find the time to be celebrities.
Thankfully Celebrity Big Brother finished last week, so the celebrities cooped up in there for a month can now go back to their normal lives of being celebrities.
If celebrities aren’t on TV shows, then it seems they’re in court defending themselves on some unsavoury charge.
So why doesn’t some high-flying TV producer try pitching the idea of Celebrity Crown Court?
We could get the cameras in, listen to all the evidence and then at the end we could decide if the celebrity is guilty or not guilty by pressing the red button.
In the meantime, I’m off to watch Joe McElderry sledging down a mountain.