WILLO TALK: When you’ve got to go...

I’VE been keeping a close eye on the long-range weather forecast for this week with a trip to a festival looming at the weekend.

I like my music, but while I’ve been to plenty of gigs over the last couple of years I’ve never actually done the full festival experience with the tent and the wellies and all that.

I’ve been assured by the people I’m going with - they’re all full-on festival veterans - that I’ll be fine and I’m sure they’ll look after me.

They know all the places to dump the car, where the best place is to pitch the tent, and where the shortest queues are for a pint.

I’ve still got my reservations though.

In my previous job as a football journalist, I used to spend my summers on pre-season tours at some far flung places around the world.

Flying first class, staying in five-star hotels and keeping the receipts from my meals to claim them back when I got back to the office.

So it’s fair to say what I’m letting myself in for this weekend will be a little bit different, but I can’t wait to get away.

I’m assured the tent we have is top of the range, it’s a got a zip inside and everything.

I’m not sure how safe my stuff will be when I’m plodging about watching bands on the big stage, so maybe that’s the reason I’ve been ordered to travel light in the event of getting my gear ransacked.

I’ll need a couple of pairs of shorts, a t-shirt and either flip flops or wellies depending on the weather.

I’ve also been told to take a packet of wet wipes, they’re save the need for a shower apparantly, a toothbrush and a can of deodorant to use every once in a while to keep the flies off me.

Chuck in a rainjacket, suncream, a pair of shades and some headache tablets, and that’s about it.

But my biggest concern, and apologies if you’re having your tea, is the toilet arrangements.

I’ve heard some right horror stories about the portaloos, they’ll be all new and shiny for the first couple of hours on Friday, but by Sunday night I guess they’ll make the toilet from Trainspotting look like the Hilton.

Being a bloke in a field with trees in has it’s advantages, but what happens when the inevitable happens?

When you need to go, you need to go don’t you?

I’m trying not to think about it, because if I get nervous and start worrying and get that funny feeling in my stomach, then I’m in bother.