LETTER: CIA should ‘nice’ it out of them

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OUR security services work in a dangerous environment to protect us night and day.

Our enemies are at least as ruthless but more barbaric, and will stop at nothing to achieve their aim, which is to kill as many of us as possible.

Torture is abhorrent but is part of their way of life unfortunately.

Perhaps the CIA could, instead of beating it out of them, “nice” it out of them as we do.

Imagine if they were treated the same as foreign criminals, including murderers and rapists, are treated by our judiciary.

They would be brought before a judge, who would give them a stern look followed by a serious telling off and severe finger-wagging.

Reeling from this onslaught they would then be given a discounted sentence (50 per cent off, today only!) and sent to prison, where they would be safer, more secure, better fed and cared for than many of our pensioners are.

During their sojourn they could earn money and possibly use it to, say, adopt a donkey at £3 per month, which will prepare them for their release.

Because of this adoption they will, on release, be welcomed into the ever-open arms of clause eight of the Human Rights Act, and be granted the right to a family life, including free accommodation, all the benefits they can hold, a cuddly toy, and lots of hugs from wet-eyed “activists”.

They will then be so overcome with emotion and gratitude that they will break down in floods of tears and confess all. Alright, I made that last bit up!

Bill Burchell,

Loyalty Close,

Hartlepool.