21 things not to say to a vegan on World Vegan Day
Today is World Vegan Day - so we hope you've offered an appropriate greeting to your meat-free friends and colleagues.
It's also the beginning of World Vegan Month, and to mark the occasion we've compiled a list of just some of the things non-vegans say which make vegans quiver with rage.
Here's 21 to avoid:
1) I don't eat much meat
This is the sound of one hand clapping
2) Do you eat fish?
3) If God hadn't intended us to eat meat, he wouldn't have made animals so tasty
He made my knuckles pretty hard - does that mean he intended to me punch you?
4) Is your whole family vegan?
5) Can you not just pick the meat off?
6) But cows like being milked
...pain, murdered calves, illness, an early death - what's not to like?
7) I couldn't go vegan, I'd miss cheese too much
You're basically a common addict
8) Where do you get your protein from?
9) What do you eat?
Picture every food in the world, remove the animal products, and you're there
10) You don't look like a vegan
I forgot my green badge
11) My friend tried being vegan, but it made her really ill
12) You must feel really week all the time
Yup, me and David Haye. Weaklings
13) I only eat organic/humane meat and free range eggs
Humane killings are the best ones, aha
14) Do you never just want a bacon sandwich?
It's all use vegans think about, 24/7
15) Hi, I'm Gordon Ramsey
16) Vegans are always so preachy and never shut up about it
It's always us that brings it up *nods*
17) I don't understand why you don't eat meat, but will have veggie burgers and sausages
Indeed, we're hypocrites. Every time we eat a veggie burger, a little lamb dies
18) What if plants have feelings too?
You're a smart one, never heard that before
19) There are too many animals - if we didn't eat them all, the world would be overpopulated. They damage the environment, you know
20) What do you have for Sunday dinner?
21) If you were on a desert island...