Willo Talk

editorial image

IF there’s one thing we’re good at, it’s finding a big long queue.

It’s something we’re trained to do from birth.

We used to queue up at school to get the little bottle of milk, as we got older we queued for the school bus, and when we got there, we queued to get into assembly, queued to get out of assembly and then queued for lunch before queuing at the school gates to escape.

Everywhere you go - unless you’re after a Sunderland season ticket - there seems to be a queue.

We queue for buses, queue in shops, queue for a pint and queue for toilets.

Don’t even get me going about queuing in airports.

That’s where you queue to get into a queue. Just have a think about how many times you queue from the minute you go into an airport to the moment you get to your hotel.

You need a holiday after all that queuing. But at least you know if you get to the front of a queue, you’ll be first in the next queue.

I was in the drive-thru queue at a well-known fast food restaurant the other day.

I won’t name the restauarant, but as far as queues go, this was a McQueue.

I looked ahead of me at cars which weren’t moving containing drivers like me who had given up on getting to the front before the breakfasts stopped, and were turning their thoughts to what to have for tea.

The bloke in front of me was clearly Mr Angry, he barked his order when he got to the little microphone bit where you shout what you’re after at a metal grill.

He was so angry, not only had he almost forgot what he wanted, he also stalled as he tried to pull away.

Once I ordered what I wanted, I queued to get to the window where I paid for my scran, and got given a straw and a napkin.

I asked for a ketchup at this point, but was politely told I would have to get one at the next window.

After another little wait, I eventually got handed my order - complete with ketchup - and with the drink balancing between my knees as they’d ran out of cup holders, I finally made it home.

I hope Mr Angry in front of me enjoyed my McChicken sandwich and fries as much as I enjoyed his family size box of Chicken Nuggets and two Big Macs.

I could have been honest and gone straight back when I opened the bag to find they’d given me the completely wrong order.

But I couldn’t be bothered queuing.