WILLO TALK: Back to work

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AFTER last week’s adventure of filing this column from a mobile phone via email, I’m now back in the old routine.

It sounds like I’ve missed quite a bit while I’ve been off work for the last fortnight.

It always takes a couple of days to get back up to speed with the office banter and even though I’ve only been back an hour or so, a few jokes which have been flying about have already gone over my head.

I feel a bit like the new kid at school who turns up a couple of weeks after the start of term, so as I write this column I’m keeping an eye out to see if anyone comes and tries to pinch my dinner money or flush my head down the toilet.

I also wish I’d put a clean pair of duds on this morning as I’m sure someone’s going to probably attempt to give me a wedgie.

Anyway, while I’ve been off, the main talking point has been the Royal baby.

I can’t get too fussed about that lot to be honest, but I must admit to sitting watching Sky News as the cameras fixed on the doors of The Lindo Wing waiting for the the little fella to come out.

At one point I tried to play my own little game of Countdown using the words ‘The Lindo Wing’.

I got ‘in’ and ‘do’ straight away, then I put a Hartlepool slant on it and got ‘ding’ but apparantly ‘doil’ didn’t count as it’s spelt ‘doyle’.

The cameraman must have been almost as bored as me as the screen split in two to ensure we didn’t miss a second of the ‘action’ at the door while the excited reporter raced round the crowds asking what they thought of the new arrival.

As she shouted “it’s a boy, it’s a boy” it took me back to the time I tried to warn my mate what he was about to let himself in for when he went window shopping on a lads’ trip to Amsterdam.

Unfortunately for him he didn’t hear me.

Anyway, out they came, the cameras flashed, they said a few words, went back in, came out again, the cameras flashed some more, then William strapped the car seat in the back of his awaiting motor and off they went.

I remember doing that routine when my daughter was born, except it took me ages to work out how to fit the car seat in the back of the car.

Then I had to get some change so I could pay the car park charge, then the ticket wouldn’t swipe and the gate wouldn’t go up so I had to buzz for the bloke who took ages to sort it.

By the time we got the bairn out of the hospital, I think she was teething.