WILLO TALK: Pointless warnings a sign of the times

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IT’S amazing some of the warning signs you see as go about your everyday business.

As I’m sat writing this column, I’m looking out of a window at a line of overflowing industrial recycling bins out in the car park.

Granted, it’s not like looking out over London from the 32nd floor of a city centre tower block or the view of the Tyne and it’s magnificent bridges from some plush Quayside office suite.

Wheelie bins don’t provide the best view, but we see a rat every now and again to liven things up and I bet the city boys in the smoke don’t see them from the 32nd floor.

Anyway, on the side of the bin there is a lovely little sticker with an absolute gem of a warning on it.

It reads simply: “DO NOT CLIMB IN THIS BIN.”

To make it better, just in case anyone who can’t read is considering diving into the bin, there’s a little diagram of a stick man with his legs hanging out of the side, showing just how dangerous it can be to jump in.

I don’t know how long he’s been in there, but I think rigor mortis has set in.

Another sign I often see is plastered across the back of a bus.

It says: “Instead of taking the bus to work, why not drive it?”.

Well, that’s all well and good, but where do they expect me to park it when I pull into the car park?

On top of that, my gaffer will go mental if I’m late every morning due to having to pick people up.

One which causes problems – and it really shouldn’t – is “WET PAINT”.

Quite a simple warning, but you always have to touch just to check, then spend the next half hour trying to get the paint off your finger.

Or is that just me?

I once saw a postcard which had the words “do not write under this line” on the bottom of where you write your message telling someone you’re having a great time wherever you are and that you wish they were there.

I’ve never been sure why they need to tell you that. But surely if they took it off, you would have an extra bit of space to bore whoever you were sending the postcard to.

Messages on food packaging shouldn’t be mocked and I know more and more people check the calorie count or the amount of fat or the percentage of their recommended daily allowance before they buy something.

But do we really need “THIS PRODUCT MAY CONTAIN NUTS” on the back of a packet of dry roasted?