Willo Talk

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MODERN technology eh. Don’t you just love it?

After seeing The Queen do her Christmas speech in 3D, I thought it was about time for a TV upgrade after 15 years with a basic Sky box.

I’d also hoped Newcastle United might do better in HD, coz they’ve been hopeless this season on normal telly.

A quick call to the call centre and no sooner had I heard the words “press one for this and two for that”, I was chatting away to a very helpful member of the customer services team and booking an appointment with an engineer to come and install the system.

Five days later he arrived, bang on time, and everything was up and running before his cup of tea had time to cool down.

And that’s when the problems started.

It’s all very well having a system that allows you to pause live telly, fast forward through the adverts, rewind the bits you’ve missed and press a magic button which allows you to create your very own box set of your favourite shows.

But to be honest, at the moment I’d settle for seeing a programme from start to finish as the hi-tech box I’ve been presented with seems to have an annoying habit of turning itself off when it wants.

I watched a match in instalments last week – one minute Man United were winning, by the time I’d got the damn thing back working again West Ham had gone 2-1 up, and in the end it was quicker to go out and buy the Sunday paper to learn that Van Persie had forced a replay with an injury-time equaliser.

I thought another call to the call centre might save the day and reduce the chances of me putting my size nines through the telly.

But this time I was placed in a queue before eventually getting to speak to someone who promptly put me on hold before cutting me off completely.

Exactly the same thing happened again, I was on hold for that long that I could have probably sat through a decent programe without interruption. Had I been able to get a picture.

Eventually I got through, and was given a list of things to do to get everything working.

Press this button, hold the red button while plugging it in at the mains, count to 30, whistle, spin round on your head then do the Gangnam across the living room floor, then it should work again.

It didn’t and I’m now faced with yet another call to my mates at the call centre.

Wouldn’t it just be quicker if there were two simple options at that start of the call?

Press one if you want to give us more money and we’ll put you straight through and get your bank details.

Press two if you’re having any bother, then put the kettle on and make yourself comfy as we could be a while.

In the meantime, if anyone has a Sky+ box they want to get shot of, please get in touch. As long as it works.