Boris Johnson - the wrong man on every level

There is probably, in your mind, a sliding scale of fitness to serve the nation. At the very top of the slide you would, at the very least, expect them to be honest. At the bottom end, well, a decent haircut wouldn’t go amiss.
Newly elected leader of the Conservative party Boris Johnson arrives at Conservative party HQ in Westminster, London, after it was announced that he had won the leadership ballot and will become the next Prime Minister. Picture by Stefan Rousseau/PA WireNewly elected leader of the Conservative party Boris Johnson arrives at Conservative party HQ in Westminster, London, after it was announced that he had won the leadership ballot and will become the next Prime Minister. Picture by Stefan Rousseau/PA Wire
Newly elected leader of the Conservative party Boris Johnson arrives at Conservative party HQ in Westminster, London, after it was announced that he had won the leadership ballot and will become the next Prime Minister. Picture by Stefan Rousseau/PA Wire

That Boris Johnson fails on both these counts is a bit of a worry.

Along that sliding scale, Boris Johnson manages to fail to live up to expectations on almost every level.

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I see him sliding along that suitability zip line waving Union Jack flags and knocking our expectations into a cocked hat every step of the way.

How, in this modern, supposedly enlightened age, did he manage to get the top job?

And what do I tell my kids?

He must be the least aspirational leader we could have. “Stick in at school son and you could be Prime Minister one day… erm, as long as it’s the right elitist and most privileged school in the land. And even then, you don’t have to stick in that much. Just choose the right club when you’re there.”

Or how about, “Work hard son and you could rise through the ranks to make it as Prime Minister one day. Well, tell lies in your job and get sacked and you can still make it in the end.”

Even as an MP, Boris was a failure.

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“Don’t worry son. If things are looking tough, don’t give in and it’ll all come good in the end. Or failing that, when the going gets tough, just keep resigning and hope things turn out for the best.”

It’s as if we have, as a society, given up on choosing the right candidates for jobs and instead look for failings.

We’re a nation that loves the underdog. Now we’re actively seeking them – the least appropriate the better.

There was a time when we went looking for the perfect leaders only to be let down at a later date. Tony Blair being the perfect example. Charming, good looking, charismatic, driven, caring, a man of the people with a penchant for war.

It was that last bit that we didn’t spot.

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With Boris Johnson, those with the power, have gone for someone who is clumsy, error strewn, selfish, privileged, inappropriate and faithless individual with a talent for bringing a nation together to become a force for good in the world.

Only in this case, that last bit hasn’t been spotted yet, primarily because it’ll never happen.

He’s been chosen for the role without showing any attributes to suggest he can bring the nation together to become a force for good in the world. Instead, he’s been picked because he’s kinda likeable.

Over time he has shown numerous human failings and blustered through with a neat line in humorous deflection tactics and the support of a faceless Tory membership holding their noses as they put a cross in Boris’s box.

Does the decision stink to high heaven? You bet your life it does. They are the one’s who put the B. O. in Boris – time to get the clothes pegs out.