TONY GILLAN: Litter louts do at least give us someone to look down on

Going by recent reports, despite being blindingly obvious to all but the least mentally advantaged, the message still bears repeating. Leaving your rubbish is inexcusable.

Should you insist on making life more miserable and unsafe for everyone else, please bear in mind the following four points.

One. When caught and fined (ha! ha!), your social superiors (everyone else) reserve the right to laugh at you: more so if you then whine that “the police must have something better to do”.

Nor is it any use saying we should move on as you have to deal with Ukraine, the cost of living crisis…

Two. Mentioning that loads of people drop litter doesn’t constitute a defence. Neither does pointing out that it was only a sweetie paper, cigarette end or whatever.

Three. Your right to moan about how terrible this area is – disappears, as does your right to complain about vermin.

Four. When you drop litter, it’s entirely your fault. Saying there aren’t any bins isn’t only patently untrue, it would provide zero excuse even if it was. If every public bin in the UK was removed tomorrow, there would still be no excuse for litter. You brought it out; you can take it home.

Littering is truly the preserve of the very, very stupid. One of the many problems of being very, very stupid is that it prohibits you from ever realising that you’re very, very stupid.

You may be thinking: “Who does he think he is? Does he really think people who don’t strew rubbish are somehow superior to and cleverer than those who lob the odd crisp packet?”

That’s a sociologically loaded question, requiring a detailed and considered response which space precludes. Hmm. I’ll have a stab anyway with the following answer.

Yes.

The sole positive trait among litter droppers is that they provide the rest of us with someone to look down upon. Putting litter into bins bears an equal degree of difficulty to scratching your behind. The difference is that it benefits more than one person.