Local people set up support group in Hartlepool after losing loved ones to suicide

When Tracy Smith lost her son to suicide in 2020, she had nowhere to turn to for support. It made her realise she wanted to help people who were in a similar position, once she was in a place to do so.

"I had nowhere to go, nobody to talk to, nobody understood, because it’s such a specialised grief that you needed to speak to someone who knew exactly what you’re going through,” explained Tracy, 50.

"There was nothing really. I didn’t have anyone to turn to. That’s when I knew that when I was in a place to help somebody, I would, because I knew how isolating and lonely it can be.”

Tracy, Jo Derby and Scott McCabe have now set up a support group for people affected by suicide in Hartlepool after meeting through national charity Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS).

Jo had lost her son to suicide while Scott’s wife had sadly taken her own life.

The group held their first session at the start of April and organisers say the feedback has been “very positive”.

It is hoped the peer-to-peer support service will give hope to people who have been bereaved by suicide, break the isolation and potentially even save lives.

"We hope to provide the service to the town where there’s nothing for people bereaved by suicide,” Tracy said.

She continued: "It’s such a complex bereavement, it’s a complicated grief. It’s not like normal grief, there’s a lot of guilt and pressure and a whole lot of emotions that come with it so to be in a group with other people that know what that feels like, I think it will help.”

The 90-minute sessions are free of charge and offer a safe space for bereaved people to share their experiences and support each other, although there will be no pressure on participants to tell their stories.

"I think it will give people a bit of hope to see that you can recover. You can walk alongside your grief, it’s not going to be like that for the rest of their life, there’s hope out there,” Tracy said.

She added: “When you lose somebody in this way, you’re at such high risk yourself of taking your own life as well. I think by offering it it could well save somebody’s life.”

Tracy’s son, Joshua, took his own life in February 2020 at the age of 25 after battling with his mental health since he was a teenager.

Tracy has described how Joshua would help anybody, despite struggling himself.

"He was very intelligent. He was everybody’s friend. Everybody liked Josh,” she said.

"He was a lovely boy. Even just days before he’d been supporting his friends through relationship breakdowns. He was just a little bit fragile because of his mental health but he would help anybody. I think because he knew what it was like to suffer, he would help anybody because he understood.”

Tracy added: "I’m doing this for him, in his memory.”

Hartlepool SOBS sessions take place on the first Tuesday of every month from 6.30pm till 8pm in Hartlepool town centre.

Location details are available by contacting [email protected] or calling 07940 558517.

If you need urgent help, contact the Samaritans online at https://www.samaritans.org/ or call 116 123.