Well here is your opportunity courtesy of a new London Underground-style map showcasing 72 Hartlepool licensed premises.
Pubs, hotels and restaurants throughout the town all feature.
The Hartlepool Orderaround map is even helpfully divided into colour-coded lines as in the Tube itself.
The Elwick to Greatham Districts purple route, for instance, guides drinkers from the Golden Lion, near Throston, to the Owton Lodge, in Stockton Road, via a canny night out in Elwick, Newton Bewley and Greatham.
All thirsty work – let’s hope the train toilets are working – and indeed hard work for artist Steve Lovell, from Leeds, who has spent countless hours researching and designing his latest creation.
Steve, 46, has published similar guides to hostelries in his native Yorkshire since 2013 before recently turning his attentions further north two years ago as demand grew.
Call centre worker Steve explained: "I always liked the design of the London Underground map and a few years ago I decided to see if I could make a map of pubs instead of stations that would cover all of Leeds.
"I was really pleased with the result and the maps have been quite popular."
Hartlepool Orderaround mainly includes premises which are currently open although occasional boozers from the past earn a nostalgic mention.
Steve also updates his posters to take into account new arrivals and name changes.
He added: "To make these, I spend time getting information from maps and other online sources and then spending much more time on making all that information into a geometrical map in the iconic style of Harry Beck’s London Underground diagram.
"Although the map is mostly pubs and bars it also includes places like restaurants and hotels that have decent bar areas, but no clubs of any kind."
Steve even visited Hartlepool since lockdown restrictions as part of his research and posed for pictures with a framed copy of the map outside the Blacksmiths Arms, in Stranton, and the 9 Anchors, in Seaton Carew.
Copies of the map cost £12.50 and be ordered at www.albanydesign.co.uk/