When the cups come without handles, you know who the mug is

How do you improve on perfection? Well, the team at Kinto designer coffee cups in Japan reckon they’ve done it. By making them smaller, removing the handle sticking an extra naught on the price tag! ​

Our new fancy-Dan coffee cups arrived in the post this week. They cost a fortune and - hey, guess what - they came without handles, and the bowl hovered somewhere between a normal cup and an espresso. In other words, it was small! ‘They’re all the rage,’ my current life-partner told me.

‘But there’s no handle,’ I observed.

‘You cup them in your hands,’ I was told.

‘What? Won’t they be too hot to hold?’

‘No,’ she said.

One coffee later, and they were most definitely too hot to hold.

What’s next? Sleeveless coats, backless chairs, or what about jeans with holes in them? Hang on, all three already exist.

Trying to come up with original impractical ‘improvements’ on everyday items to flog to the public is really difficult. As a society, we’ve done the lot.

Take the sleeves off a coat, and you have the gilet. Perfect for those needing cold arms in winter.

The stool too is a design classic enjoying a renaissance. ‘Do you like leaning back and falling on your backside? Try our new stool. With no supportive back rest and only three legs, you’ll never recline in comfort again.’

‘Tired of pristine denim? Be the envy of your pals with our pre-ripped jeans. Worn, frayed and a snip at £120. Distressed? You soon will be.’

Honestly, I’m stuck. Ever since McDonald’s convinced us we don’t really need plates or cutlery to eat in their restaurants, we just love paying more for less. And the more difficult it makes our lives, the more we lap it up.

Wait a minute. That’s it. Lap it up. I’ve got it: a coffee cup set with literally no coffee cups. Just saucers. You pour your coffee directly onto the saucer and lap it up - like a caffeine-addicted ginger Tom. Just wait until the chaps at Kinto hear about this. I’ll make a fortune…