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Richard Ord

Editor, Shields Gazette

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We meet again Mr Ord. But this time the flip-flop is on the other foot.

My tug of war with a monkey

Let's get ready to crumble. Dessert-based street protests may be the catalyst for change. (Image created by AI)

Let's get ready to crumble

'You can't handle the cup!' Coffee cups without handles are all the rage. Well, they certainly left me raging. Image created by AI

Designer coffee cups are for mugs

Winter is coming... Jon Snow doesn't have time for wistful looks. He's got to build his firewood storage container in less than 20 minutes. Image created by AI

Changing seasons heralds unwelcome Game of Groans

A nation of TV and dog lovers rejoice. A new hard-to-paint-on-a-zebra-crossing UK flag has been created. Image by AI

A new flag fit for any roundabout

And here's the bridge name you could have won...

Regis Le Bridge: The name Sunderland loved but never got Richard Ord

Nick Kershaw performs in front of fans at This is South Tyneside in Bents Park.

Nik Kershaw's Live Aid regret

Many are afflicted by Post Traumatic Parking Spot Disorder, none have been cured. [Image created by AI]

No cure for fear of losing your parking space

Mobile phones at the ready to be the next viral internet sensation. Image created by AI

Viral sensations are ten a penny

Wake up and smell the coffee... before it explodes! [image created by AI]

Scented rooms with a whiff of danger

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Viral sensations are ten a penny

Good riddance to bad rubbish. [image created by AI]

I raged against the litter louts

What better inflight entertainment than the mayhem of disembarking passengers? Image created by AI.

Boeing chaos is pure entertainment

Snooze you, erm, win! Could sleeping be a future Olympic sport? I hope so... Image created by AI

If you snooze you, erm, win!

What a way to go! Mauled by a mutant Northern tarantula courtesy of misplaced parcel. (image created by AI)

Welcome to the spider apocalypse

FitBit says 'run fast or die.' Image courtesy of AI graphic generator.

Behold! Tamagotchi man

Cotton ear buds. Perfect for all uses from rodent twirling baton to insect barbell. Please keep clear of ears!

Cotton bud hamster warning
My current life partner is suffering from an ear infection caused, most likely, due to her overuse of cotton buds.
Richard Ord

Dudley the beagle enjoyed his stay at The Resident.

I found a secret Edinburgh hotel with stunning castle views

Sharks, ice, bacteria... nothing will keep the cold water bathers from their daily dip. Image produced by AI image generator Dall-E

Dippers turn the air blue

'Yeah, the runway seems fine to me.' Not even an earthquake can stop some flights for long. AI image created by Dall-e

'Did the earth move for you? Dunno, I was fast asleep!'

Are you having a laugh? Pub banter is safe... honestly. AI image, created by Dall-e

Custard pie for Farage

Rocking the latest in the beauty products. Image courtesy of AI tool Dall-e.

Desperation! Is there a cream for that?

"This clock is losing a second every billion years, I want my money back'. AI generated image.

Here's how to promote a £3m clock

The Grim Reaper has been a regular at the Queen Vic for 40 years now.

Death stalks EastEnders once again

He devours books like there's no tomorrow! Image created by AI tool Dall-e

Library leaves me in a fine mess

Fins can only get, erm, worse. A shark's eye view of the 'exploding' straw crisis. Image created by AI.

Trump drew the shortest exploding straw

Never underestimate the importance of reindeer herding in the modern world. (image created by AI Dall-e)

Don't take your kids out of school

Sailing into unmarked laundry territory. Image created by AI.

RICHARD ORD: Why Swede dreams of Green laundry won't wash with Brits
‘I would go out tonight, but I haven’t got a stitch to wear,’ sang The Smiths. In Britain, this excuse may work but in Sweden that wouldn’t wash… unless it’s laundry day.
Richard Ord

A relentless barrage of bombs, bullets and bags of Monster Munch.

War is declared on popcorn

Tom Sturgess (Albert Narracott), Ike Bennett (David Taylor) in War Horse. Credit Brinkhoff-Moegenburg 2118-R

War Horse gallops into winners enclosure

Deciphering the painkiller conundrum can give you a headache.

A bitter pill to swallow

'But is he a patriot?' England need to cast their net further in search for a winning manager.

'We need to cast our net further for England manager... how about Uranus?'

Some of our MPs appear to hand their brains in at reception when they come to power. (Image created by AI)

'Good ideas from the Government appear thin on the ground'

Finger signatures are a sign of the times.

I put finger on true cost of dentists

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RICHARD ORD: Millionaires get Winter Fuel Allowance! Bit rich isn't it?

A close shave without the benefits of looking younger!

RICHARD ORD: Just a whisker away from the perfect birthday gift for my mum

A South Shields woman has called on South Tyneside Council to explain why pedestrians have been placed next to the road as part of the new cycleway.

Pedestrians are meat in the fast moving transport sandwich

Republican presidential candidate former President Donald Trump is surround by US Secret Service agents at a campaign rally. PIC: AP Photo/Evan Vucci

RICHARD ORD: God works in mysterious ways which is why Trump was almost toast

Where's the style section?

My unwanted charity tat beggars belief!

Like most bad Kerplunk players, the Tories appear to be losing their marbles.

Kerplunk! Tories have lost their marbles

On reflection, Monkey Tennis could be a vote winner.

Monkey Tennis just might sway undecided voters

Warm your hands and you've got my vote...

RICHARD ORD: It's time politicians rubbed us up the right way!

'I'm sure my mobile phone is in here somewhere...'FILE photo dated 24/10/52 of national service men of the 1st Royal Tank Regiment packing their kit at Fowler Barracks, Tidworth, in readiness for their departure for Korea. Teenagers would not be sent to jail for defying the Tories' proposed "mandatory" national service, James Cleverly has said, as Labour branded the policy a "gimmick". Photo credit: PA/PA Wire

RICHARD ORD: National Service or Madame Whiplash's Spanking Tuesdays? You decide...

"Quick, hide behind this tree. Your dad will never find you here..."

RICHARD ORD: Where there's a Will, there’s a way... to happily annoy your kids!

Cricket... lovely cricket. Now where's that luke-warm yoghurt?

RICHARD ORD: Warm yoghurts and no sausage rolls! Why that's just not cricket...

Jeez, I never even said I was a bear.

RICHARD ORD: The bear necessities of life are not always true

You drive me vape. Picture: Adobe Stock

RICHARD ORD: Rishi Sunak wages war on the fog-gobblers

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